Subject #1

Boot Camp for bitches has started. Today, Subject #1 showed up for his initial test. He passed.
Subject #1 Rating: 9/10

The night before he was to drive here, I sent him this list of tasks and rules…

You are not permitted to speak to me on your 1st visit. You will earn this privilege.
Do not fuck this up.
Focus on how pleased I will be about how hard you worked for me.
Weed eater
Heavy Duty trash bags
Water and/or Gatorade to stay hydrated
I have a lawn mower – it’s in the garage behind my house. Unlocked. You are permitted to enter and retrieve the lawn mower
Pick up and bag all dog poop; use the poop scoop in front of my house
Dispose of bag in the proper outside trashcan
Take all the things in front of my house (shovel, scoop.. etc) and put them in the garage
Pick up all sticks or rocks and anything throughout my yard that could damage my lawn mower
Mow entire yard
Weed eat around the house/flowers/fence
Stay away from the side of the house with the bushes – there are A LOT of yellow jackets
Move any wood leaning on the neighbors fence (place neatly close to fire pit AFTER mowing that area)
Dispose of elliptical on porch, use gloves to place it in the trash
When you are finished, place both trashcans on the side of the porch towards where the rocking chair is, opening facing the porch
I WILL BE WATCHING YOU. I have cameras all over my property. I will be checking up on you throughout my workday.

He was gone before I even woke up for work LOL (I work weird hours) I was so pleased with his work though. He actually did go and mow where all the yellow jackets are 🙂 It hadn’t been mowed since the month I moved in.. 2 YEARS ago. He also placed my favorite morning drink, next to coffee, at my front door for when I woke up. I’m already thinking of more tasks for him. But thus far, I am quite pleased.

Next time, he will get to actually meet me.

Extra points for overcoming his fear. Imagine, being made to show up at someone’s house whom you’ve never met. Told to go into their garage, get their property and mow their yard. LOL! But he pushed past his nervousness and I love that. And as such, he has earned a weekly visit to WORK for me. So long as he keeps pleasing me, of course.


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