Not so chill and mentally ill

Not so chill and mentally ill

I’ve been so busy I honestly haven’t felt like blogging. I was planning to do a small vacation but ultimately decided against it. Traveling is just too stressful. Getting there is obviously worth it but until then, I’m a wreck.

The last 11 days have been absolute hell. I contemplated whether or not I wanted to share this, but after thinking about it.. I have never been one to shy away from being open and honest about my struggles with my mental health. It just is what it is. About 6 months ago I was put on cymbalta, in conjunction with my gabapentin, for my fibromyalgia. Although it helped tremendously with my pain, it did NOT help my mental health. I became depressed and suicidal. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I didn’t want to be around people and began pushing everyone closest to me away. I just haven’t been myself. I decided to switch medications, was almost out but I scheduled my appointment to discuss switching and asked for another prescription so I could begin weening. Well, they wouldn’t call it in until I was seen and wouldn’t have any available appointments for a WEEK. Within 2 days I began experiencing brain zaps, nausea, vomiting, rage and hallucinations. I’ve spent most of the last 11 days in bed. Friday I told them what I was experiencing and they apologized and said there was some mistake and filled it immediately.

In the midst of all this I came across a post on social media about a dog who had been living in an abandoned house the last 6-7 months after their human passed away from cancer. I immediately applied to foster her and Saturday she was brought by a member of the animal rescue I applied with. She’s doing great settling in with my animals and I. She came just in time for me to start feeling better. She’s such a sweetheart. All my friends and family are so sure I’ll cave and keep her. Not going to happen. I’m definitely attached but the truth is, yes, she can stay here until the rescue finds a forever family. But if I keep all the animals I help I won’t have room to help more. So, whenever her family and her find each other, I will be sad.. but I really want to keep helping older dogs.

My boyfriend and I have been talking about moving in together, we both want to live in the country. I may rent out my house. I may sell it I don’t know. But I want to buy a bunch of land so I have more room to foster and rescue. That is my dream.

I hate people, but animals are a blessing.

A blog will be coming soon with a boot camp update. I am making some changes.

3880cookie-checkNot so chill and mentally ill